Falling - Ochita No Sukumono
by KanzanshinoKobashitonoKekyoku
Summary: He hides. He cries. No one hears his good byes. He's dead.
1. Fallen

Disclaimer:My fic only. I don't own the implied characters.

* * *

He doesn't want this anymore. He can't stand this anymore.

-Stay Strong.-

He won't do this anymore.

-Keep it going.-

It hurts.

-It's okay.-

He shouldn't.

-I'm okay.-

It's painful.

-It doesn't hurt.-

It's agonizing.

-I'm smiling.-

He's not able to.

-I can keep going on.-

It'll fall any second now.

-They won't notice.-

It's cracking.

-This is how it's supposed to be.-

He's falling.

-This is real. I'm fine.-

It's spiraling out of control.

-I can handle this.-

It's running berserk.

-I won't break.-

It will burst any second now.

-I'm not going to fall.-

He's losing.

-I'll survive this.-

They see it.

-It isn't fake.-

Still,

-It's okay.-

They ignore it.

-I'm alright.-

And he's dead.

* * *

A/N: This fic will be continued, but it will be in a backwards format. Meaning you'll start knowing things from the end to the beginning in which it will be the end of it all. Don't even try to decipher what that means, because you'll definitely get the meaning wrong. I promise you that.


	2. From The End

Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine.

* * *

It wasn't always like this with them. There was once a time when they were actually happy. No, that's wrong. There was a time when _he_ was actually happy, not _them_. No, it was only he and that was before she came into the picture.

No, he isn't saying that it was her fault that his happiness was taken away. That's not it at all. It's just that she took part in it and unknowingly destroyed him with the results.

They were happy. He was the only hope for him in his dark world. There wasn't anything more that he wanted, he just wanted to stay with him. That was all that mattered. That was what he thought, but that's wrong. He contradicts himself and wants her dead. He contradicts himself by wanting to be in her place. He wants the position that she has, in _his _heart. In _Bel's _heart._  
_

He thought that just staying by his side would be enough. It wasn't. He thought that as long as he was happy, he'll also be content. It's not true. He thought that he wouldn't hurt. But the pain's killing him from inside out. Nothing's alright, nothing's gonna be okay. He's falling, and no one's there to catch him.

* * *

What's he doing, sitting on the floor of his room with a bottle of pills in his hand? Did he really fall that low? Is it really just that hard to hold up for a few more days? But... He doesn't want to see _that. _If he saw it, he would break down right then and there. He wouldn't even be able to congratulate them properly after seeing _that._

The invitation to the pair's wedding lay forgotten on the floor, and Fran continues to debate about his imminent actions._ 'Is it really okay to do this?'_

Fran looks at the invitation on the floor again and his face twists into one of agony. The pain's too hard for him to bear. It'll be okay for him to not go, he already replied to the invitation saying that he won't attend the _wedding_, he spat the word in his head. It'll be better for them, for everyone.

Anyways, the tension between the three of them are high right now. It's so bad that even when they are just in the same room, the densest of dense would feel suffocated. You could just see the thick atmosphere swirling above the trio's head and cut into the thick air with a knife. No, I'm not joking. Yet they still sent the invitation. They still try to act like everything's normal. They still try to pretend that nothing's wrong, or out of the ordinary. They still invite him out with them sometimes, trying to be like how they were before it fell, before the mask was dropped. They denied the fact of what was true, he denied it too. None of them wanted to face the feelings that he held dear. He himself didn't want to either. He now hopes he has never had those, it's... it's just... just so hard...

They only wanted everything to be normal, him included. No matter how painful he felt, no matter what kind of agony tortured him when he saw them together, he just didn't want the peace to break. He didn't want to see _him _break. He wanted the three of them to stay like that, as best friends, for eternity. But at the time he just couldn't, couldn't hold it together with everything thrown at him.

He was hurt, badly. No one wanted to see it, no one wanted to care about it. The pain, the loneliness, the sadness, and the want, he couldn't take it. No one wanted to take it away for him. No one wanted to see what a mess he actually was. No one cared about the mess that he has become. They didn't care before, they won't start now. He thought that Bel would even leave him when he finds out what his best friend really is. He would find out how disgusting the younger man was and detest him. He would also despise him for being who he is. But Bel didn't, he didn't give him a chance to, because he told them that it was fake, what he had done, what he was feeling, and what he was, was all a lie. He denied himself in front of the person he loved, and still does, because he fears rejection to be in the man's life. He wants to stay by Bel no matter what, yet that's not possible anymore. He can't bear this and he can't be denied anymore, might as well just end it.

Fran turns his head back to the pills in his hand. Should he take it? It will help ease all the pain. It will help him cease to exist. He'll be all alone. Fran laughed as the last thought popped into his mind, though his blank face and emotionless eyes were still glued onto his face. All it looked like was a lift on a side of his lips and a sound of dry cackling was emitted from his small mouth.

He thought, Him? Alone now? That's just total bull. He's been alone ever since he was born. Even his parents abandoned him with his senile grandma in the mountains when he was just but a babe, because even they knew something was wrong with the green hair child that they bore. His crazy nanny had never gave a rat's ass about him either way and he had to fend for himself. It was only when his parents died and the lawyers needed to do something about their properties that they went to find him and gave it to him since there was no will of who to give it to or really other family members to give it to since there was a direct descendant. Thus, because of this one major change in his life he was sent to school in the city by his aunt, who really was only aiming for his dead parents' properties, and met Bel. Even though there were perks as to being in an urban population, Fran would have much preferred the mountains even without the whole heartbreaking thing.

The young man once again looks at the white envelope laying on the floor, looking so innocent and yet it contained the most destructive thing in the short man's life. He really wanted to tear it into shreds, but he wasn't able to. Just looking at the beautiful cursive of his best friend at the front of the pristine white paper caused his anger to deplete and for the sorrow to return. Fran knew it was useless. He can't do anything to stop the wedding ceremony, and he won't. He's decided. He'll die tonight, and no one would find him.

So the green haired man stood up, putting down the bottle of pills gently as he strode towards the door of his bedroom. When he reached the living room he turned to his left, going into his kitchen to get his bottle of Everclear, flavorless and odorless while 95% of it is made of alcohol. After retrieving that, Fran walked out the door, grabbing his car keys while doing so.

* * *

Racing in the wind never felt as incredible as it did now, Fran thought. The windows of his car were opened, letting the wind weave through his hair and dance through the car as it sped up even more. Plus, the Everclear also helped Fran to slip in and out of his mind, staying conscious enough to drive but not enough to notice things around him clearly. As he drank more and more of the alcohol his vision started to swim. Ah, this is how it'll end for him, driving off of a cliff and dying! Ha, isn't that suitable for a nobody like him... But no, it won't be like what he wanted. It'll cause too big of a commotion.

So Fran pushed his foot on the brakes, causing the car to stop abruptly. He then stumbled out of the car, wobbling slightly as he dragged himself towards the cliff that he knew was some miles away. Well that was the reason for stopping his car anyways, he's trying to find a faraway place to die peacefully without anyone finding him. Fran let out a strangled laugh, a small side of his lips are raised, creating the image of a crazed person. He thought, Him? Ha, what a joke! He'll never have peace, even in death. He knows for sure. If his obnoxious cousins don't badmouth him when he's gone he'll be counted lucky. Though that's highly unlikely. Ken Joshima and Chikusa Kakimoto, they've hated him ever since they knew about his existence since that's the reason why they didn't get to have any of the property left by Fran's parents.

Now that Fran thought about, his cousins are plenty pitiful, seeing that both Ken and Chikusa had been kidnapped when they were younger. Rather, they had been sold by their heartless parents to scientists just because they needed their debts to be paid and that they had thought that they were freaks of the family anyway. So yeah, they were treated roughly and were used as test subjects in many experiments which then yields the result of Chikusa feeling nothing at all and having a bar-code on the side of his face while Ken has fangs like a wild animal and a gigantic scar running from the left side of his face to the right, crossing the bridge of his nose. Anyway, that's a story for another time. Right now, let's focus back on Fran.

The green haired boy teetered about, wobbling slightly on his feet. He needs to reach that cliff before someone comes along and finds an abandoned car on the highway and report it to the police. He needs to hurry, he needs to go.

The teen staggers around a bit more, wanting his numb feet to just reach the cliff already. Then he hears something, or at least he thinks he does. He looks back, but nothing meets his sight, only a swift wind sweeping the leaves up into the dark autumn sky. He chuckles humorlessly to himself. How could he have even thought, even for a second, that Bel would be there? What kind of meds has he been taking!?

Fran continues to stumble around the clearing he's reached in the middle of the forest that he's walked into. Then he drops down onto the ground, feeling too weak and dizzy to move on. Why did he end up like this? Why? He just wants to stay there forever, hoping for the pain in his chest to be numbed a little by the cold of the night and for his feelings to be obscured by the darkness of the forest. That way he won't have to deal with anything anymore. Why can't it be like that? Why?...

Does he have to really go through with this? Should he really go through with what's happening? Should he really go through this suicidal phase like this? Really, it's okay isn't it? It's really okay, he shouldn't be this sad over someone getting married. Rather, he should be happy for the couple. But he can't, won't, and isn't able to feel happiness for the two. It's too hard to not just hate _her, _he hissed the word in his head, already. It's too hard to know that no matter what he won't be able to win over _her. _And why that is? It's because she's a girl, _a woman. _And it haunts him that he can't be of the opposite gender no matter what. It haunts him that his best friend doesn't love him the way he does. It haunts him that of all the people he could fall in love with, it had to be _Bel._ He can't... He just can't...

The green haired teen shakes his head to clear away those thoughts, because it won't matter anymore. It won't matter after this night. Nothing will matter anymore. He smiles in a maniacal way and gets back onto his feet before continuing to head towards the cliff, his cliff. It was their cliff before everything fell, but it's only his cliff now. Only his. No one to share the beautiful view with, no one to keep him warm on nights when they camped out there, and no one to share laughs with on the bitter days that they escaped from. He chuckles bitterly. It really would be a shame to die out there and ruin such an ethereal location with his dirty and tainted blood. But it matters not anymore, no one cares anymore, and he's finally given up in caring too.

As Fran reaches the cliff where he had spent many nights before, he looks out into the big expanse of blue once more, the last time, before he stumbles forward into the embrace of the chillingly cold dark waters. It'll finally be over for him. But... just for one last time, he hopes that he can once again laugh with the idiotic prince once more, he hopes that these feelings was just a fake and all of this was just something dreamed up and that he would wake up clad in the warm green frog blankets that Bel had given him while opening his door to let the fake prince in. He hopes, and wishes, and in the end though there's still no one to hear his goodbyes.


End file.
